fight of faith (♥)

today was spent:

staring at you,

flipping thoughts around in my head,

getting over that feeling of betrayal,

thinking about how i'm contradicting myself,

wishing that thursday's outing still takes place,

looking at what's left of me in you guys,

training with Benny,

trying to get a word in with wuyue,

missing what used to be,

fighting that urge to break down,

pretending that i'm alright (and i smile),

twittering on my mobile,

waiting for the sms that never comes,

chattering my head off on aimless stuff,

listening to "I'll try",

trying to piece myself back together,

pondering about the problems that we have,

brainstorming for solution,

being part of everything and nothing,

sleeping in chemistry and getting weird dreams,

burning every bridge we build,

stopping myself from breaking my promises,

giving up my seat to an old man,

observing human nature,

hoping for a little rest from this busy world.

(today was spent on breaking my own heart)

i don't feel like elaborating.

some parts are for you.

some parts aren't.

some parts are just so convulted that i don't understand either.

some parts are there to make some people guilty.

some parts that should be there aren't there.

some parts are there to show that i care.

sometimes i wish there was someone i could connect to (other than the internet)

written on
9:40 PM