fight of faith (♥)

Sunday, September 27, 2009

controversial

gay boys should be less hot, or not gay.

either that, or they should stop letting me know them cos they're making me fall head over heels with them ._.

broke my hiatus to say that,

and that high sugar levels = tired christine in 1 hour.

mug date with deborah was awesome; we should do it more often.

off to work on chinese. i'm still tired.

Labels: church, feelings, friends, notes, random, rants, supernova, thoughts, tired, wants

written on
9:00 PM

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

not like you, bitch

i wanted to post about loads of stuff, but i realised i couldn't be bothered to bitch about you.

awesome lunch with wuyue today and even more awesome pictures after that, but my cam's cable is so far away i don't feel like uploading them so yeah lol.

i'm going to sleep :)

Labels: friends, happy, notes, random, supernova, tired

written on
9:51 PM

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

i'm hurting to see you hurt.

and i have no idea where this shit is coming from.

Labels: emo, epiphany, feelings, friends, notes, rants, supernova

written on
6:28 PM

"said i'll love you forever

forever is over"

- love drunk, boys like girls (♥)

i supposed that doesn't apply to our brains, cos this holiday's all about

yep.

from stochiometry to moments to development.

christine's gonna mug hard this sept hols (^o^)

leaving for malaysia tonight, so i'll be missing:

1. std 1's first outing T.T

2. squad outing

3. AOP

4. Kbox with Haonan

5.CG girls' outing

sad ):

but malaysia means:

1. nice food

2. huge shops with nice stuff

3. cheap movies

4. pretty clothes

5. slack \o/

hahaha.

currently obsessed with emoticons and such. \(^_^)/

oh and harvest moon mfomt gba haha.

played it until the batt ran out, oops haha.

okay off to pack :D

Labels: /:, bored, church, clique, feelings, friends, goals, happy, homework, notes, photos, random, school, sj, smc1, thoughts, wants

written on
3:25 PM

Sunday, September 6, 2009

echoes

i really don't know what to do anymore.

couldn't sleep until 1am last night:

there were shivers down my spine and screaming in my head.

honestly, i have no idea what's happening, but sometimes, i wish i could just quit this whole thing.

so from 2300 to 0100 i was just lying on the bed,

tossing and turning and praying and trying to get the screaming out,

but it didn't really work and i fell asleep cos of exhaustion.

i'm really scared there'll be a relapse tonight.

missed church today cos i forgot to charge my phone in the chaos last night,

and so the alarm didn't ring.

went to tampines with family,

bought paper to make your birthday card.

i don't know how to say sorry to you,

because you really ought to say sorry to me too.

Labels: /:, bored, church, emo, epiphany, family, feelings, friends, happy, notes, pissed, prayers, sj, supernova, thoughts, tired, wants

written on
11:00 PM

Saturday, September 5, 2009

untold truths and halfway beliefs

today was semi-awesome.

training was really fun, but i'm really sorry for pissing you guys off ):

today just didn't start right.

and i really don't like people interupting me.

ah i don't know.

it's just that i think the seniors are right and everyone else thinks that they are wrong.

and i don't know how to disagree with them and still see eye to eye with them.

rt without after training rants to haonan just doesn't work out well.

and i think my love for standard ones doubled today haha.

because their popquiz answer was damn cute.

and when you strip away their irritatingness/shyness/quietness,

they're all really just who we were.

and that's pretty comforting, i guess.

(i just wish that you can see it too)

quote that stuck during FA: "YOU ALL MUST BE SCIENTIFIC OKAY?"

haha. meaning no "jaw, shoulder blade, shin" and stuff haha.

post training lunch with daniel & yongsheng:

DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER EVM UPSIZE WITH VARYING PREFERENCES

haha. aweeeeesome :D

then rushed to lido to meet kellie & pearl and watched G-force 3D

pretty good show, and Shaw is my favefavefave theatre now haha.

(+ Time traveller's wife & Alice in Wonderland with Deborah)

(+ many other awesome movies coming out :D)

then sakae dinner + extra large food hahahaha.

you have to see it to know how funny it actually is lol.

and i'm damn bloody tired now):

Labels: /:, clique, emo, epiphany, feelings, friends, goals, happy, homework, notes, pissed, random, rants, school, sj, smc1, supernova, thoughts, tired, wants

written on
11:24 PM

Thursday, September 3, 2009

crazy emo kias

confirm, plus chop, failed math test.

and i'm procrastinating.

supposed to do chinese 小练笔 now /:

sian leh. haha.

tmr phototaking then ***** :D

secret haha omg. this is damn lame.

christine has gone insaneeeeeee hahaha.

and i lived with a day of neck pain. lol.

cannot turn at all -.-

lalala shall do chinese now.

oh and sec 1 camp comm meeting was fun!

hahahaha.

makes me feel like searching for ghost stories in dhs X:

lolll.

Labels: /:, bored, friends, happy, notes, school, sick, thoughts, tired, wants

written on
9:15 PM

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Superfluous feelings

Christine is sad cos:

1. She flunked her tests.

2. She lost her correction tape.

3. She has to stop liking guys that leave because it makes her sadder.

4. She's broke.

5. Just because.

-----

school brings my mind off things, i guess.

and after tmr, it's shopping :D

for xinyi + bro + leshan's presents haha.

Christine loves shopping :)

Labels: /:, feelings, friends, happy, random, school, thoughts, tired, wants

written on
9:20 PM

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

past friends, present friends

i have reasons aplenty to hate you,

to disclose your secrets,

to make you look bad;

but the only reason i don't is that otherwise,

my present friends might leave.

and that's why it hurts so bad.

because it's not you who's hurting me,

it's their ignorance that hurts.

Labels: /:, emo, epiphany, feelings, friends, notes, supernova, thoughts

written on
10:00 PM

Monday, August 31, 2009

restless minds & tired souls

christine's feeling slightly sad.

i don't know why i mind so much,

but it seems like the people i love have been letting me down a lot these days.

i'm sorry i lie, i'm sorry i'm a liar, i'm sorry i lied.

i'm afraid of being alone.

i miss 6A'06/P6 clique/proper conversations with xl

yes, i'm a sucker for nostalgia.

Labels: /:, clique, emo, epiphany, feelings, FREAKED OUT BY BC, friends, notes, random, school, supernova, thoughts, tired, wants

written on
10:37 PM

a little high on sugar

today was okay until the concert,

and not okay until swensens buffet @ ION Orchard.

not bitching about why ;)

haha. i love wuyue.

she makes me happy and high and lets me bitch about everyone :D

met mira at Swensens.

like after soooooooo long.

i miss her haha.

happy (really) belated 16th, dear.

in a very good mood now cos of the ice cream.

ice cream + shopping makes me high! hahahaha.

i'm not letting the past get into me;

i shot alice in the head.

beat that, bitch :)

Labels: clique, emo, epiphany, friends, happy, supernova, tired, wants

written on
9:15 PM

never so happy; never so sad

Pixel Post:

Teachers Day 09 @ DHS + Swensens @ ION Orchard

----------

more @http://www.facebook.com/photos.php?id=607767709

friends only ;)

wordy post after my shower, i stink now haha oops.

Labels: /:, clique, emo, friends, happy, notes, photos, random, school, supernova, tired

written on
7:36 PM

Sunday, August 30, 2009

oh, i'm sorry, did you say something?

feeling really fucked up now.

like i've been living in isolation for so long,

i've forgotten how to be a friend.

but i really don't want to compromise with this.

i asked you out, you either follow my plans, or disappear.

i've got my whole week's plans planned,

you're not going to ruin it.

Labels: /:, friends, rants, supernova, wants

written on
3:26 PM

just get lost

i just went through my whole archives for this blog.

i take back what i said about loving 3B more than 2C.

i bet if i cried in 3B, nobody would notice, unlike cresmic.

i don't know. i just miss having people to fall back into, and interesting things to talk about.

it's just really really putting off to hear about your ex-classmates talk about how funny their class was;

who was dating who in the class;

how (insertnamehere) did something so stupid everyone laughed;

how they fit in in their class.

and here i am just sitting in this desolate place listening to the teacher ramble.

it really doesn't make much of a gossip topic, y'know?

Labels: /:, bored, clique, feelings, friends, random, rants, supernova, thoughts, tired, wants

written on
12:06 AM

Saturday, August 29, 2009

but in the end, everyone ends up alone

3B sucks hardcore.

I'ld give anything to get 1C back.

hell, i don't even mind having 2C right now.

i mean, face it,

Cresmic phototaking was always pure fun:

no matter how screwed our photos were,

no matter where we're placed, it doesn't matter.

Cresmic chalet had almost full attendance,

minus the few who had to return to China.

Cresmic halloween party had people dressing up and a proper bbq.

Cresmic lessons were full of nonsense and breaks were filled with TorD/fangirling/shouting across the class.

Cresmic interclass really involved the whole class.

Cresmic felt like home,

but 3B is like... hopeless.

which class has a name like BANANAS?

there's no meaning to it other than this yellow disgusting fruit.

(i'm sorry i do hate bananas oh so very much.)

which class tee took forever to make, costs a hell load, and doesn't even last long?

which class had so little supporters during interclass,

that there wasn't any motivation for us to stay on and play?

which class's class blog is dead and no one bothers to check it?

which class chalet has FOUR people attending and has a 25bucks per person, non inclusive of food & activities fee?

which class makes absolutely no sound during lessons?

which class saps the whole zi-high energy from you cos they're just so fucking quiet and dull?

which class hates school celebrations cos they're a waste of time and rather have formal lessons?

which class doesn't even bother to bond with each other?

which class sucks so much, there's really no point in calling those 36 people a class anymore?

oh right, my class.

----------

y'know what?

next year let's just choose all the unenthu people to be the class comm,

let them know how hopeless it is to try to bond this class.

they can be the ones planning the class outings (mugger dates, perhaps),

they can go do all the seating arrangements shit

(doesn't matter who you sit with, they're probably clinging on to every shit that the teacher is saying and can't be bothered to listen to you talk),

they can do all the mass smsing/the events planning/announcements making.

it wouldn't matter how screwed the class becomes:

it wouldn't get any worse than this.

oh, and you know what?

i have suggestions on who to choose.

(they'll fit the role perfectly)

----------

no, this is not a hate post.

this is just me voicing out what i really think about 3B as a whole.

i thank God that there are people inside who are like me,

and it's really nice to know that i'm not just some weird over enthu person ;)

Labels: /:, bored, feelings, friends, God, pissed, random, rants, school, supernova, thoughts, tired, wants

written on
11:33 PM

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

promised pixels. xoxo

saved this as draft last night and forgot to post it.

i'm tired of seeing all my friends walk ahead of me and never turning back.

life's just one long rat race, ain't it?

it's just running to have the highest popularity, having the bests friends.

studying at the best college, getting the best job.

it's really putting me off that the people i trust are the people i should beware most,

and that best friends are those you don't know well.

ah, it's just one big confusing concept that i don't want to understand.

Labels: /:, emo, epiphany, feelings, friends, supernova, thoughts

written on
9:59 PM

Sunday, August 9, 2009

slightly salted tears

i'm feeling so much better now after that good long cry.

i wasn't even crying for me, hell, i was crying for the broken hearted.

for those who were here and then left,

for those who left and came back,

for those who never said goodbye.

i haven't felt such a clear head for so long:

life's been a real bad tease these days - i always had to be the person everyone expects me to be, and i'm afraid to fall of their expectations, though i'm tempted to just blow my cover.

there's been too much deception, too many lies;

so much indecisiveness, so many wrong choices.

but now, it seems clear that it doesn't matter what everyone else says or does.

i am me. no one can change that, not the people who backstabbed, not the people who left, not even the dear voice in my head that keeps shouting the worse thoughts out.

it seems as though i killed that voice.

and i have no idea whether that's a good thing.

i kinda miss those serious heart-to-heart talks i have with xl:

the ones where i'm crying here, and i know he's there to make me smile.

the ones where i could embarass myself real bad and know he won't bring it up ever again.

the ones where i never had to pretend to be okay.

but we all have to grow up and move on, don't we?

we all have to pick up the pieces and try to fix them back together.

we all have to leave a part of us to grow a new one.

it hurts, but it's for the better, i guess.

so here's saying goodbye to the fuckers that left because they were afraid of the consequences of their mindless actions.

here's saying goodbye to those that never said goodbye.

here's picking myself up from the ground, and not looking anywhere but away from you.

i'm not sorry even if you are.

you deserve everything, it might not be coming, but i believe someday, everything would come to light.

just you wait, my dear,

because revenge was never meant to be taken directly: it comes in separate doses.

Labels: BOF, clique, emo, epiphany, fangirl, feelings, friends, goals, happy, jihoo, notes, pissed, poem, prayers, rants, sick, sj, supernova, thoughts, wants

written on
12:22 AM

Saturday, August 8, 2009

suckers

i don't blame you for being you, but you can't blame me for hating it.

going out to all those that are pissing me off right now.

kudos to those who know who you are.

i hope it makes you sad.

Labels: bored, friends, notes, pissed, random, rants, sj, supernova

written on
5:48 PM

Friday, August 7, 2009

For(get)giveness

God made Man in the splitting image of Himself, thus God made Man able to forgive.

I can forgive you, but I secretly hope that this would haunt you forever.

Sometimes I think I should just tell everyone what happened, ruin your image, etc.

Sometimes I think I should tell my mum.

Sometimes revenge does sound sweet.

Sometimes, forgiveness doesn't come from the heart.

So fuck you, and fuck off.

Labels: bored, clique, epiphany, feelings, FREAKED OUT BY BC, friends, notes, pissed, prayers, supernova, thoughts, tired, wants

written on
10:53 PM

Friday, July 31, 2009

shadows and sunsets

my favourite from my new batch of photos.

love the lighting & macro haha.

shall post my flickr link after i'm done with the rest of the photos.

-----

i'll try.

Labels: clique, feelings, friends, goals, notes, photos, school, supernova, thoughts, tired

written on
9:59 PM