fight of faith (♥)

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

"said i'll love you forever

forever is over"

- love drunk, boys like girls (♥)

i supposed that doesn't apply to our brains, cos this holiday's all about

yep.

from stochiometry to moments to development.

christine's gonna mug hard this sept hols (^o^)

leaving for malaysia tonight, so i'll be missing:

1. std 1's first outing T.T

2. squad outing

3. AOP

4. Kbox with Haonan

5.CG girls' outing

sad ):

but malaysia means:

1. nice food

2. huge shops with nice stuff

3. cheap movies

4. pretty clothes

5. slack \o/

hahaha.

currently obsessed with emoticons and such. \(^_^)/

oh and harvest moon mfomt gba haha.

played it until the batt ran out, oops haha.

okay off to pack :D

Labels: /:, bored, church, clique, feelings, friends, goals, happy, homework, notes, photos, random, school, sj, smc1, thoughts, wants

written on
3:25 PM

Saturday, September 5, 2009

untold truths and halfway beliefs

today was semi-awesome.

training was really fun, but i'm really sorry for pissing you guys off ):

today just didn't start right.

and i really don't like people interupting me.

ah i don't know.

it's just that i think the seniors are right and everyone else thinks that they are wrong.

and i don't know how to disagree with them and still see eye to eye with them.

rt without after training rants to haonan just doesn't work out well.

and i think my love for standard ones doubled today haha.

because their popquiz answer was damn cute.

and when you strip away their irritatingness/shyness/quietness,

they're all really just who we were.

and that's pretty comforting, i guess.

(i just wish that you can see it too)

quote that stuck during FA: "YOU ALL MUST BE SCIENTIFIC OKAY?"

haha. meaning no "jaw, shoulder blade, shin" and stuff haha.

post training lunch with daniel & yongsheng:

DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER EVM UPSIZE WITH VARYING PREFERENCES

haha. aweeeeesome :D

then rushed to lido to meet kellie & pearl and watched G-force 3D

pretty good show, and Shaw is my favefavefave theatre now haha.

(+ Time traveller's wife & Alice in Wonderland with Deborah)

(+ many other awesome movies coming out :D)

then sakae dinner + extra large food hahahaha.

you have to see it to know how funny it actually is lol.

and i'm damn bloody tired now):

Labels: /:, clique, emo, epiphany, feelings, friends, goals, happy, homework, notes, pissed, random, rants, school, sj, smc1, supernova, thoughts, tired, wants

written on
11:24 PM

Monday, August 31, 2009

restless minds & tired souls

christine's feeling slightly sad.

i don't know why i mind so much,

but it seems like the people i love have been letting me down a lot these days.

i'm sorry i lie, i'm sorry i'm a liar, i'm sorry i lied.

i'm afraid of being alone.

i miss 6A'06/P6 clique/proper conversations with xl

yes, i'm a sucker for nostalgia.

Labels: /:, clique, emo, epiphany, feelings, FREAKED OUT BY BC, friends, notes, random, school, supernova, thoughts, tired, wants

written on
10:37 PM

a little high on sugar

today was okay until the concert,

and not okay until swensens buffet @ ION Orchard.

not bitching about why ;)

haha. i love wuyue.

she makes me happy and high and lets me bitch about everyone :D

met mira at Swensens.

like after soooooooo long.

i miss her haha.

happy (really) belated 16th, dear.

in a very good mood now cos of the ice cream.

ice cream + shopping makes me high! hahahaha.

i'm not letting the past get into me;

i shot alice in the head.

beat that, bitch :)

Labels: clique, emo, epiphany, friends, happy, supernova, tired, wants

written on
9:15 PM

never so happy; never so sad

Pixel Post:

Teachers Day 09 @ DHS + Swensens @ ION Orchard

----------

more @http://www.facebook.com/photos.php?id=607767709

friends only ;)

wordy post after my shower, i stink now haha oops.

Labels: /:, clique, emo, friends, happy, notes, photos, random, school, supernova, tired

written on
7:36 PM

Sunday, August 30, 2009

just get lost

i just went through my whole archives for this blog.

i take back what i said about loving 3B more than 2C.

i bet if i cried in 3B, nobody would notice, unlike cresmic.

i don't know. i just miss having people to fall back into, and interesting things to talk about.

it's just really really putting off to hear about your ex-classmates talk about how funny their class was;

who was dating who in the class;

how (insertnamehere) did something so stupid everyone laughed;

how they fit in in their class.

and here i am just sitting in this desolate place listening to the teacher ramble.

it really doesn't make much of a gossip topic, y'know?

Labels: /:, bored, clique, feelings, friends, random, rants, supernova, thoughts, tired, wants

written on
12:06 AM

Sunday, August 9, 2009

slightly salted tears

i'm feeling so much better now after that good long cry.

i wasn't even crying for me, hell, i was crying for the broken hearted.

for those who were here and then left,

for those who left and came back,

for those who never said goodbye.

i haven't felt such a clear head for so long:

life's been a real bad tease these days - i always had to be the person everyone expects me to be, and i'm afraid to fall of their expectations, though i'm tempted to just blow my cover.

there's been too much deception, too many lies;

so much indecisiveness, so many wrong choices.

but now, it seems clear that it doesn't matter what everyone else says or does.

i am me. no one can change that, not the people who backstabbed, not the people who left, not even the dear voice in my head that keeps shouting the worse thoughts out.

it seems as though i killed that voice.

and i have no idea whether that's a good thing.

i kinda miss those serious heart-to-heart talks i have with xl:

the ones where i'm crying here, and i know he's there to make me smile.

the ones where i could embarass myself real bad and know he won't bring it up ever again.

the ones where i never had to pretend to be okay.

but we all have to grow up and move on, don't we?

we all have to pick up the pieces and try to fix them back together.

we all have to leave a part of us to grow a new one.

it hurts, but it's for the better, i guess.

so here's saying goodbye to the fuckers that left because they were afraid of the consequences of their mindless actions.

here's saying goodbye to those that never said goodbye.

here's picking myself up from the ground, and not looking anywhere but away from you.

i'm not sorry even if you are.

you deserve everything, it might not be coming, but i believe someday, everything would come to light.

just you wait, my dear,

because revenge was never meant to be taken directly: it comes in separate doses.

Labels: BOF, clique, emo, epiphany, fangirl, feelings, friends, goals, happy, jihoo, notes, pissed, poem, prayers, rants, sick, sj, supernova, thoughts, wants

written on
12:22 AM

Friday, August 7, 2009

For(get)giveness

God made Man in the splitting image of Himself, thus God made Man able to forgive.

I can forgive you, but I secretly hope that this would haunt you forever.

Sometimes I think I should just tell everyone what happened, ruin your image, etc.

Sometimes I think I should tell my mum.

Sometimes revenge does sound sweet.

Sometimes, forgiveness doesn't come from the heart.

So fuck you, and fuck off.

Labels: bored, clique, epiphany, feelings, FREAKED OUT BY BC, friends, notes, pissed, prayers, supernova, thoughts, tired, wants

written on
10:53 PM

hairband headphones & other confusing things

"What a Catch, Donnie" video's not out yet ):

Pete promised august 6. I am so disappointed in him, tsktsk.

haha.

on the other hand, had a really fufilling day today (:

i feel saturated with patriotism + SMC 1 + shopping, haha.

i think i scared deborah pretty badly, though, with my confusion LOL.

walked the whole orchard ion + art friends + heeren, and my pumas killed my calves.

ion's pretty cool. just don't wear uniforms/casual wear + act rich.

haha. or you'll be stared at.

i love my hairband headphones <3

and artbox.

and deborah and kellie.

and smc 1.

and JIHOO 8)

goodness, i think i'm still confused.

Labels: church, clique, fangirl, feelings, happy, jihoo, notes, random, school

written on
9:56 PM

Sunday, August 2, 2009

You're my Prince of Peace

like a child letting go of a helium balloon:

we thought we had it all,

clenching the little ribboned string in our tiny fists,

thinking we'll never let go of this tiny piece of happiness in our hands.

and then something happens that makes us loosen that death clench,

and up goes the balloon, flying higher and higher and higher.

further from our grasps, rising above our heads;

losing that happiness we had.

but, like a child, we never stay sad for long - something else will distract us, all too soon.

that was POP'09.

in that five hours, our instructors left us,

but there wasn't time to feel sad because now there's instructorhood to keep us busy.

and it's suddenly all too big a responsibility.

yes, i love the standard ones, but i don't know. it's an awful load for me.

but i'll try to keep the balloon in my hands this time round.

with little, childish innocence,

(shall i view the world:)

no more tinted glasses nor kaleidoscopes.

things shall be as they seem.

no more extra imagination,

nor a little too much consideration.

no, no more.

signing off with just a little faith, trust and pixie dust.

(God be with me.)

Labels: church, clique, emo, epiphany, family, goals, photos, school, sj, supernova, thoughts, tired, wants

written on
9:55 PM

Friday, July 31, 2009

shadows and sunsets

my favourite from my new batch of photos.

love the lighting & macro haha.

shall post my flickr link after i'm done with the rest of the photos.

-----

i'll try.

Labels: clique, feelings, friends, goals, notes, photos, school, supernova, thoughts, tired

written on
9:59 PM

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

just a little too late.

I really thought I was over it, but I'm not.

and I don't think I ever will until we get this conflict resolved.

to whoever is concerned (you probably know who you are):

am I supposed to take your classical as mine cos you took the electric as yours

because I really don't know what can keep our friendship and fufil our desires.

-----

Wuyue: I'm sorry for starting our day off so unhappily. Sleep deprivation does that to me. Extreme moodswings + really disconnected thoughts. There's a lot of things I haven't told you, that I need to tell you. Because I really can't keep it to myself anymore.

Kellie: Sorry for watching my unglam moments today /: Now you'll remember how horrible I look when I cry ): and hey, thanks for cheering me up. ILY, yeah?

Amanda: Thanks for going home with me :D LOL.

alrighty. don't feel like posting much today.

not in a good mood. don't think i'll be in one soon.

shall finish geog and do quiet time.

i need some time with God.

Labels: /:, clique, emo, epiphany, feelings, friends, goals, God, homework, notes, pissed, rants, school, thoughts, tired, wants

written on
9:06 PM

Friday, July 3, 2009

here at my side

first proper post this week.

i'm officially not sitting with leshan anymore ):

i miss talking to her during lessons.

No offence, but i still haven't found a common topic with felicia.

and there's nobody to tutor me in math anymore ._.

and i'm in the first row. but it's a can-sleep position. haha.

so not that bad (:

i'm handing in chinese late and i don't really care anymore.

but i had fun chionging with wuyue & amanda today.

photocopy machine!

haha. our new toy.

having a slight sore throat now.

spamming lozenges in the hope that it'll save my throat for tmr.

getting screened by the teachers is actually quite a scary thing.

haha. i'm getting cold feet X:

ah well.

shall brush teeth and sleep soon.

first night in days that i'm sleeping early.

yay (:

Labels: church, clique, feelings, happy, school, tired

written on
10:08 PM

Monday, June 29, 2009

I'll be by your side

it's today D:

went quite well, i think.

met wuyue at aljunied mrt in the morning,

took cab to school with jiamin & kellie (cos we're smart people and missed the waiting for 158 cos there wasn't any 158A.)

so yeah.

i slept in every lesson,

made ms low pretty pissed,

but had fun with 3B clique during recess and 2C clique during lunch.

yoghurt ice cream tradition was broken ):

ah well. gonna sleep now.

and i think God was with me through today.

I don't know how to put it into words.

xoxochristine

Labels: clique, feelings, friends, God, happy, school, tired

written on
10:40 PM

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

LEE KELLIE <33

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELLIE!

my bestest best friend and a million other stuff :D

I'll type the stuff dedicated to you here after I actually type them to you cos I haven't thought of anything past that 905 characters. I SPENT 10+ SMSES ON YOUR MIDNIGHT WISHES WORHZ.

haha.

yeah, I know I'm your bestest best friend too LOL. (zikua alr X:)

see you tmr <3

Labels: birthday, clique, friends

written on
10:35 PM

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

S is for shop/study/sleep/schedule (sorry)

I'm so tired I should go to sleep right now.

But I'm waiting for my family.

Study date + Shopping with Kellie for BTS on thurs.

Sorry Deborah. Next Wednesday?

Yeah. My schedule's that packed ):

ah well. watching tv while waiting now.

tata world.

Labels: church, clique, family, tired

written on
9:05 PM

Monday, June 8, 2009

Studying could get any more fun

mugging session with Kellie was totally worth it.

Finished 1 1/2 pages of math in 3hrs?

I could not have done it alone, I tell you.

And she finally did the lemon tea dare at starbucks.

LOL.

It was normal lah -.- the person sitting next to us ordered the same thing.

haha. and kellie was like "WHO GOES TO STARBUCKS TO ORDER TEA?!"

I told you it's damn normal ._.

I'M DETERMINED TO SOLVE THAT MATH QUESTION, KAYS?

haha. I SHALL DO IT WITH NO HELP O:

and kellie shall wonder at my awesomeness.

lol. it's okay if you don't get it. (it's for intellectuals)

rofl. (now that's an inside joke)

I want another mugging session D:

+ Dress shopping with Deborah

++ Going to MWL to buy stuff for father's day card.

+++ Shopping for back-to-school stuff with Kellie.

My holiday schedule is full of girl time with Kellie.

LOL.

and I shall paint my nails red after IDMI filming.

It plain sucks that I have to remove my pink polish now ):

oh well.

shower now, post later.

xoxo Christine(:

( i feel really happy now)

Labels: clique, friends, happy, homework, notes, rants, school, wants

written on
9:41 PM

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Searching for the equilibrium

it feels as if I'm trying to make everything back to normal,

but I kinda forgot that normal wasn't just me.

-----

idled today away.

Sims 3 + fruitless attempt to go out to buy the keyboard for my sister.

and I kinda failed at making agar agar.

It wasn't sweet enough.

Ah well.

New discoveries everyday.

Yesterday I found out that you can't wash socks with a washing machine.

Today I found out that oil was necessary to make pancakes not stick on the pan.

(even on non-stick pans)

and stuff like agar agar took about 5mins to make, but very long to cool.

And that my POSB had a withdrawal limit of 200 bucks.

.__.

possible study session with Kellie to finish Hols hw,

and dress shopping with Deborah?

+ superteens workshop with Kellie 8D

I want scrapbooking classes again.

the previous time was so fun, haha.

okay. I have to go check on my washing now ._.

I don't like being alone at home, in case you still haven't realised.

Labels: church, clique, emo, epiphany, family, feelings, friends, homework, random, rants, thoughts, wants

written on
7:04 PM

Sunday, May 31, 2009

it don't feel right, when you're gone

had lots and lots of fun with 2C clique (:

never been so happy since you-know-what.

i missed you guys /:

more outings soon, yeah?

spent the morning at church,

afternoon shopping with kellie,

and night with clique :D

natm2 was a pretty good movie,

despite the fact that most of the time i was laughing at the weird people beside me

(who laugh at things that aren't funny and zihigh DURING the movie)

ate B&Js,

used BROWN ENVELOPES to wipe our hands LOL.

and laughed at our own jokes. haha.

then went home 8D

-----

sometimes, we try so hard to see things that are far away, that we forget to admire those near us.

Labels: church, clique, epiphany, feelings, friends, happy

written on
11:21 PM

Thursday, May 28, 2009

have you ever wondered why?

i'm having this really bad inferiority complex now.

i'm sorry for wanting to be a stupid, immature teenager.

because sometimes i think i'm thinking too much.

and sometimes, being childish helps me to forget to think.

to feel happy about myself for a while.

but most of the time i just end up having conflicting interests,

knowing that what i want and what i should do is impossible to co-exist.

i'm sorry that i can't live up to anyone's expectations.

i fell short of my own expectations in my studies, in controlling my thoughts,

i didn't do my best in many things for fear of failure,

i practically dashed my own dreams and saw the people closest to me getting them.

and the worst thing is that it happened in more than one count.

i'm sorry for being less of a friend, and more of a bitch.

i couldn't really stand being close to anyone for a while.

i needed to sort things out with myself, to know who i can trust,

who won't build me up and tear me down like so many have done.

i couldn't be there when you needed me, so i'm not expecting you to be here now.

(even though i really wish you were here)

i'm sorry for not shaking off my bad habits.

for not cleaning my room.

for not doing the things i'm supposed to do.

i'ld say that i didn't have enough time with studies and all that whatnot,

but now i think that's all just an excuse.

i'm sorry for feeling pathetic for myself,

for being jealous of you,

for telling myself that i'm an idiot to keep giving in to you.

but i guess that's what our 'friendship' is built upon.

me giving you whatever you want.

i guess i'm just not strong enough.

i'm sorry for wanting to be that kid that i used to be.

because it's impossible to turn back time now.

-----

i'm actually crying now.

this might become a thursday ritual.

only it gets worst.

last thurs's interclass was probably just the normal sad cry.

what i'm feeling now is like 10 times worst.

because i told myself i won't cry over you again.

and it's not the first time i'm feeling like that.

Labels: clique, emo, epiphany, family, feelings, friends, goals, rants, supernova, thoughts, tired

written on
11:26 PM