fight of faith (♥)

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

second hand boys.

there's just this thing about boys in second place that makes me like them.

gaah. i can't think of all the examples now. but there's sth about boys like jihoo that i love ._.

ah well. back to LA roleplay script.

Labels: fangirl, feelings, homework, jihoo, random

written on
8:12 PM

Sunday, August 9, 2009

slightly salted tears

i'm feeling so much better now after that good long cry.

i wasn't even crying for me, hell, i was crying for the broken hearted.

for those who were here and then left,

for those who left and came back,

for those who never said goodbye.

i haven't felt such a clear head for so long:

life's been a real bad tease these days - i always had to be the person everyone expects me to be, and i'm afraid to fall of their expectations, though i'm tempted to just blow my cover.

there's been too much deception, too many lies;

so much indecisiveness, so many wrong choices.

but now, it seems clear that it doesn't matter what everyone else says or does.

i am me. no one can change that, not the people who backstabbed, not the people who left, not even the dear voice in my head that keeps shouting the worse thoughts out.

it seems as though i killed that voice.

and i have no idea whether that's a good thing.

i kinda miss those serious heart-to-heart talks i have with xl:

the ones where i'm crying here, and i know he's there to make me smile.

the ones where i could embarass myself real bad and know he won't bring it up ever again.

the ones where i never had to pretend to be okay.

but we all have to grow up and move on, don't we?

we all have to pick up the pieces and try to fix them back together.

we all have to leave a part of us to grow a new one.

it hurts, but it's for the better, i guess.

so here's saying goodbye to the fuckers that left because they were afraid of the consequences of their mindless actions.

here's saying goodbye to those that never said goodbye.

here's picking myself up from the ground, and not looking anywhere but away from you.

i'm not sorry even if you are.

you deserve everything, it might not be coming, but i believe someday, everything would come to light.

just you wait, my dear,

because revenge was never meant to be taken directly: it comes in separate doses.

Labels: BOF, clique, emo, epiphany, fangirl, feelings, friends, goals, happy, jihoo, notes, pissed, poem, prayers, rants, sick, sj, supernova, thoughts, wants

written on
12:22 AM

Friday, August 7, 2009

hairband headphones & other confusing things

"What a Catch, Donnie" video's not out yet ):

Pete promised august 6. I am so disappointed in him, tsktsk.

haha.

on the other hand, had a really fufilling day today (:

i feel saturated with patriotism + SMC 1 + shopping, haha.

i think i scared deborah pretty badly, though, with my confusion LOL.

walked the whole orchard ion + art friends + heeren, and my pumas killed my calves.

ion's pretty cool. just don't wear uniforms/casual wear + act rich.

haha. or you'll be stared at.

i love my hairband headphones <3

and artbox.

and deborah and kellie.

and smc 1.

and JIHOO 8)

goodness, i think i'm still confused.

Labels: church, clique, fangirl, feelings, happy, jihoo, notes, random, school

written on
9:56 PM

Thursday, August 6, 2009

;)

finished downloading bof!

haha. most of it, anyway.

left the 5 yr later special & soundtracks ;)

shall go sleep now.

tmr's a long day, unfortunately.

Labels: fangirl, happy, jihoo, tired, wants

written on
10:57 PM

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

and i can't help it that you're looking like an angel

craving for sleep, jihoo and good grades for tmr's tests.

i'm such a greedy little girl, haha.

seriously addicted to watching BOF now: i think jihoo's damn cute. LOL.

and yijung *hyperventilates* hahahahaha.

oops. i'm procrastinating now X:

shall go download BOF + memorise solubility rules + hope & pray to pass trigo & ABS tests.

oh, and btw, i tyco-ed macbeth popquiz: 19/20, and i never finished reading the book ;)

Labels: BOF, crushes, fangirl, happy, homework, jihoo, school, supernova, thoughts, tired, wants

written on
10:07 PM