fight of faith (♥)

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

8 reasons and a wish

right, so i haven't been updating this blog with mildly interesting posts these few days.

there are a few explanations to these, none of them pleasant, except one.

1. it's mugging period and everyone refuses to go out with me.

2. kellie rejects my mug dates ): (whyohwhy, kellie!)

3. don't have the desire to mug with anyone else.

4. been sick, and missed church for quite long.

5. have been mugging for physics/chem test (which i think i slightly flunked)

6. mousehunt is distracting me every 15 mins ;)

7. got addicted to flickr apps (oops haha)

8. been editing my wordpress. really pleased with it, and i love the URL. (this is the pleasant reason, btw)

so yeah. watch out for long hiatus/revelation of my wordpress :D

oh and Happy Birthday Tom Felton <3

aka draco malfoy aka the only guy xl sorta accepts that he's of high standards

(xl failed hyungjun/taylorlautner/jessemccartney/petewentz/etc)

so yeah, kudos to Tom Felton for making it to the hitlist, baby.

Labels: birthday, fangirl, feelings, happy, notes, school, sick, supernova, thoughts, tired, Tom Felton, wants

written on
9:33 PM

Friday, September 18, 2009

life's been stagnant for the past 24 hours.

just medicine + slacking + occasional studying.

nothing much i guess, feeling better but not quite.

the medicine's making me run a fever -.-

off to bed.

Labels: random, sick, tired

written on
11:42 PM

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Away With Official Leave ;)

christine is on 2 day MC.

common flu with bacterial infection ._.

so i have like antibiotics + runny nose pills + cough syrup.

which tastes horrible btw.

lol. so anw i think i'll only be taking the tests next tuesday -.-

cos there's no school on monday.

I THINK.

lol. 5 day break, yay haha.

[edit] YES GOT NO SCH ON MONDAY! [/edit]

Labels: school, sick

written on
11:24 AM

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

facades, camera, action

you know the thing about life being a stage where everyone's an actor and such?

i beg to differ.

life ain't a stage, life's a set:

everything is set up to seem so perfect to deceive the people on the outside.

face it, we've all wanted to be that main character in a tv show at least once in our lives.

we've all believed that life in that tv serial is 'true' that the characters 'exist'.

yeah they do. in pixels and soundwaves.

and then you feel so cheated that that life you wanted was just a story.

sure, a stage has props and stuff to make the characters more real,

but a stage is real: the people on stage play out the lives of the characters, so in a way, they ARE the characters.

try putting yourself into the shoes of Josh in BBYD.

are you yourself or are you Josh?

confusing eh?

in short, like a director knows his set, you know your life.

your life to others is a stage, something to show the heavily edited course of your life;

your life to yourself is a set, your life will never seem perfect to you 'cos you know all the tiny details about it.

your life is merely a facade.

Labels: epiphany, random, sick, supernova

written on
8:11 PM

sick without mc

isn't that like the worst thing ever?

horrible flu right now: hollow feeling in my head, plugged ears

and millions of tissue used (how many trees have i killed D:)

and i'm still waiting for my mum to get off the phone so i can ask her whether i can go to the doctor's.

which happened to be closed because they weren't open when i came upstairs -.-

oh dear dear me ):

on the other hand, finished studying physics on the mrt :D

and manymany people were staring at my awesome post-it-ed notes lol.

left doing workbook questions again + chemistry.

jiayou christine!

Labels: rants, school, sick, tired

written on
5:34 PM

Thursday, September 3, 2009

crazy emo kias

confirm, plus chop, failed math test.

and i'm procrastinating.

supposed to do chinese 小练笔 now /:

sian leh. haha.

tmr phototaking then ***** :D

secret haha omg. this is damn lame.

christine has gone insaneeeeeee hahaha.

and i lived with a day of neck pain. lol.

cannot turn at all -.-

lalala shall do chinese now.

oh and sec 1 camp comm meeting was fun!

hahahaha.

makes me feel like searching for ghost stories in dhs X:

lolll.

Labels: /:, bored, friends, happy, notes, school, sick, thoughts, tired, wants

written on
9:15 PM

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

it starts in my toes and I crinkle my nose

-bubbly, colbie caillat

feeling not bubbly at all now:

woke up at 0530 with a splitting headache and nearly died trying to go back to sleep.

woke up again at 0900 with a dull ache in my head, ate breakfast and studied geog.

1500 still awake, and covered industries, global industrial shift and tourism.

only population, urban studies and migration left.

gah. my nose is still feeling really bad, and i can't remember anything that i studied.

great achievement, christine.

oh, and my house has a new tv and i don't like it.

it's too big (and i thought people liked big tvs) /:

ah well. back to migration.

[edit] add an aching toe to the sickness equation. stubbed my toe on the table. pain ): [/edit]

Labels: /:, bored, homework, notes, school, sick, tired, wants

written on
3:32 PM

Saturday, August 22, 2009

macrocasm

why is macro photography so concentrated on insects/flowers/other living things?

it's like so normal to see millions of search results of living things now.

i want macro-ed still life /:

it's nicer haha.

currently tying up the loose ends of chemistry, and attempting to memorize LA script.

i will not get distracted.

Labels: homework, sick, wants

written on
11:03 PM

Friday, August 21, 2009

O.O

i am ready to collapse now.

but damn my hair's wet.

flu + streneous activity = bad way to end day.

i need to sleep.

Labels: school, sick, sj, tired

written on
11:11 PM

Thursday, August 20, 2009

i see you see i see red.

today was awesome, but i'm too tired to talk about it.

main point: family time + awesome shopping+ new camera = great happiness.

haha.

yes, i finally got my red cam. and it's awesome :D

xoxo christine.

Labels: family, happy, notes, sick, supernova, wants

written on
11:41 PM

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

i'm burning up

gah. fever.

i'm ready to collapse now ._.

Labels: sick, tired

written on
10:24 PM

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The Storyteller: truths, lies & in betweens

it's like trying to get a picture out of your head, but never getting it right.

it's like finding the right words, but using it the wrong way.

it's like confiding to a friend, and hearing him spread the rumours.

it's like being confident for a test, but seeing the failing results.

it's like seeing the world in black and white, but ommiting the grey areas.

it's like searching for your greatest desire, and finding out that it's been with you the whole time.

it's like singing your favourite song, and realising that you got the lyrics all wrong.

it's like solving a math equation, but using the wrong formulae.

it's like dancing with an injured ankle; writing with an inkless pen;

it's like spelling without alphabets; talking in different tongues.

it's like i'm the storyteller, telling the truths, lies and in betweens.

-----

today's a plain boring day.

and people got me thinking bout love.

Labels: /:, bored, emo, epiphany, notes, poem, random, sick, thoughts, tired

written on
10:03 PM

Monday, August 17, 2009

GTA

222 more words!

i can do it. (i hope)

in terrible need of sleep and the fact that i just drank hot chocolate doesn't really help me to stay up ):

gah. but it's my thinking drink.

cos ribena ran out ._.

i'm have such a sad life now.

Labels: /:, goals, homework, notes, sick, tired, wants

written on
10:37 PM

Sunday, August 16, 2009

classic pre-monday blues.

there but not quite.

i have this i want to die because i feel so sick,

but there must be more to life than this, so i don't want to feeling.

currently wishing to play sims 3 + sleep + not go to sch tmr.

gah.

Labels: school, sick, supernova, tired

written on
10:58 PM

geog

50 words.

i want to die.

Labels: homework, school, sick, tired

written on
9:42 PM

Saturday, August 15, 2009

sore throat + weird thoughts

currently feeling happy + sad + confused at the same time.

i don't know what you're expecting of me,

i don't know what i'm supposed to do.

i don't know whether you're faking it,

i don't know where i need to go.

Labels: /:, feelings, rants, school, sick, thoughts, tired

written on
5:50 PM

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

a moment in time

alrighty. so i got home from the hospital not long ago.

went to spend the day with my lil bro while my mum went home to rest.

i am such a nice person LOL.

studied chinese there. there's a slight chance i might pass :D haha.

pulled my sole muscles this morning.

now it's twitching and having really sudden spasms of pain.

and it's painful ):

but today's a happy day cos i bought the national geographic magazine at $1.

great bargain LOL. haha. i love NGM's pictures.

left chem file + ACE to study.

which i am not caring about -.-

will sleep before 11 today: it's my reward for being nice.

+ i think i'm falling sick ):

Labels: bored, family, happy, homework, rants, school, sick, thoughts, tired, wants

written on
9:48 PM

Sunday, August 9, 2009

slightly salted tears

i'm feeling so much better now after that good long cry.

i wasn't even crying for me, hell, i was crying for the broken hearted.

for those who were here and then left,

for those who left and came back,

for those who never said goodbye.

i haven't felt such a clear head for so long:

life's been a real bad tease these days - i always had to be the person everyone expects me to be, and i'm afraid to fall of their expectations, though i'm tempted to just blow my cover.

there's been too much deception, too many lies;

so much indecisiveness, so many wrong choices.

but now, it seems clear that it doesn't matter what everyone else says or does.

i am me. no one can change that, not the people who backstabbed, not the people who left, not even the dear voice in my head that keeps shouting the worse thoughts out.

it seems as though i killed that voice.

and i have no idea whether that's a good thing.

i kinda miss those serious heart-to-heart talks i have with xl:

the ones where i'm crying here, and i know he's there to make me smile.

the ones where i could embarass myself real bad and know he won't bring it up ever again.

the ones where i never had to pretend to be okay.

but we all have to grow up and move on, don't we?

we all have to pick up the pieces and try to fix them back together.

we all have to leave a part of us to grow a new one.

it hurts, but it's for the better, i guess.

so here's saying goodbye to the fuckers that left because they were afraid of the consequences of their mindless actions.

here's saying goodbye to those that never said goodbye.

here's picking myself up from the ground, and not looking anywhere but away from you.

i'm not sorry even if you are.

you deserve everything, it might not be coming, but i believe someday, everything would come to light.

just you wait, my dear,

because revenge was never meant to be taken directly: it comes in separate doses.

Labels: BOF, clique, emo, epiphany, fangirl, feelings, friends, goals, happy, jihoo, notes, pissed, poem, prayers, rants, sick, sj, supernova, thoughts, wants

written on
12:22 AM

Sunday, July 12, 2009

pointed heels in my brain

whoo!

i finally finished jian bao.

left with the liu yong thing.

i'm happy!

haha.

waiting for inspiration to strike (:

and my head hurts.

like tinkerbell's kicking up a storm in it.

roar ._.

Labels: happy, homework, school, sick

written on
8:24 PM

Monday, July 6, 2009

Late(r)

migraine prediction was correct.

panadols didn't work, and i think i might die of overdosage.

i'm trying out my sister's way of sticking the muscle ache sticker thing on the head.

no effect so far, 'cept that it burns so much that i don't feel the headache.

and there's this really bitter taste in my mouth that i can't get rid of.

is this some after-effect or something?

gah. i just want to runaway and hide in a hole or something.

it feels like there's the white rabbit repeating "i'm late, i'm late" in my head.

it's 10.35pm. not late in usual context, but i'm feeling rather sick.

there's this chinese assignment that i really have to work on 'cos it was due last friday. that's late.

there's idmi meeting tomorrow, and i have to rush some thing out. (late)

i feel like just falling asleep and not waking up; who cares if i'm late?

late; late; late.

i feel like i'm supposed to do something now, but i don't know what.

it's not something on my mental checklist.

it's like God calling me to do something, but i'm disobeying Him for human wants.

and i know i'm supposed to do something about it because i know it's not right, but i just want to rebel.

i don't like being diabolical.

i need some time on my own.

(it's the after-effects of acting)

Labels: church, emo, epiphany, family, feelings, friends, God, notes, prayers, school, sick, thoughts, tired, wants

written on
10:31 PM