fight of faith (♥)

Sunday, September 13, 2009

beyond the boundaries

malaysia was awesome fun:

1. late nights, later mornings

2. good food :D

3. wii workouts + slumber parties

4. cute waiters (LOL)

5. totally disconnected from singapore

which made me really happy till i came back this morning and saw the hw i have left,

and i have no idea how to do them ):

hm.whatever.

dinner out later. can't wait ♥

Labels: family, happy, homework, rants, school, wants

written on
3:38 PM

Sunday, September 6, 2009

echoes

i really don't know what to do anymore.

couldn't sleep until 1am last night:

there were shivers down my spine and screaming in my head.

honestly, i have no idea what's happening, but sometimes, i wish i could just quit this whole thing.

so from 2300 to 0100 i was just lying on the bed,

tossing and turning and praying and trying to get the screaming out,

but it didn't really work and i fell asleep cos of exhaustion.

i'm really scared there'll be a relapse tonight.

missed church today cos i forgot to charge my phone in the chaos last night,

and so the alarm didn't ring.

went to tampines with family,

bought paper to make your birthday card.

i don't know how to say sorry to you,

because you really ought to say sorry to me too.

Labels: /:, bored, church, emo, epiphany, family, feelings, friends, happy, notes, pissed, prayers, sj, supernova, thoughts, tired, wants

written on
11:00 PM

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Ablazed skies

awesome picture taken by my phone eons ago.

there's nothing much to post about today cept dinner was great,

and i probably won't get to eat the same dinner till next year.

i love my daddy :D

Labels: bored, family, happy, notes, supernova, wants

written on
9:32 PM

Thursday, August 20, 2009

i see you see i see red.

today was awesome, but i'm too tired to talk about it.

main point: family time + awesome shopping+ new camera = great happiness.

haha.

yes, i finally got my red cam. and it's awesome :D

xoxo christine.

Labels: family, happy, notes, sick, supernova, wants

written on
11:41 PM

Saturday, August 15, 2009

dual sound

GAH.

my sister refuses to let me watch BOF in korean ._.

it sounds so much better in korean lah ._.

but i alr finished the whole series LOL.

but still ._.

okay. i'm whining now.

Labels: BOF, family, fangirl, random, rants

written on
9:42 PM

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

a moment in time

alrighty. so i got home from the hospital not long ago.

went to spend the day with my lil bro while my mum went home to rest.

i am such a nice person LOL.

studied chinese there. there's a slight chance i might pass :D haha.

pulled my sole muscles this morning.

now it's twitching and having really sudden spasms of pain.

and it's painful ):

but today's a happy day cos i bought the national geographic magazine at $1.

great bargain LOL. haha. i love NGM's pictures.

left chem file + ACE to study.

which i am not caring about -.-

will sleep before 11 today: it's my reward for being nice.

+ i think i'm falling sick ):

Labels: bored, family, happy, homework, rants, school, sick, thoughts, tired, wants

written on
9:48 PM

Monday, August 10, 2009

up and down the merry go round.

i hate feeling helpless.

there's like so many things that i want to do but i can't,

so many things i should do, but it's not at the top of my priorities,

so many priorities that i can't remember all of them.

graah.

doing chinese compo now.

i'm sad.

Labels: /:, family, goals, homework, notes, wants

written on
10:13 PM

Monday, August 3, 2009

hide and seek?

my tagboard is missing on my browser ):

today was pretty nice.

i'll try to post more later: off to dinner :)

mama cooked my favorite soup <3

Labels: family, happy, rants

written on
6:27 PM

Sunday, August 2, 2009

You're my Prince of Peace

like a child letting go of a helium balloon:

we thought we had it all,

clenching the little ribboned string in our tiny fists,

thinking we'll never let go of this tiny piece of happiness in our hands.

and then something happens that makes us loosen that death clench,

and up goes the balloon, flying higher and higher and higher.

further from our grasps, rising above our heads;

losing that happiness we had.

but, like a child, we never stay sad for long - something else will distract us, all too soon.

that was POP'09.

in that five hours, our instructors left us,

but there wasn't time to feel sad because now there's instructorhood to keep us busy.

and it's suddenly all too big a responsibility.

yes, i love the standard ones, but i don't know. it's an awful load for me.

but i'll try to keep the balloon in my hands this time round.

with little, childish innocence,

(shall i view the world:)

no more tinted glasses nor kaleidoscopes.

things shall be as they seem.

no more extra imagination,

nor a little too much consideration.

no, no more.

signing off with just a little faith, trust and pixie dust.

(God be with me.)

Labels: church, clique, emo, epiphany, family, goals, photos, school, sj, supernova, thoughts, tired, wants

written on
9:55 PM

Friday, July 31, 2009

So thank you for showing me,

That best friends can not be trusted.

i went to school in a very good mood.

because i seriously thought that it'll be better; that friends do make life much happier.

and then the day went spiralling downhill straight after flag raising.

i guess it's just another day of being me.

the piece of the puzzle that never quite fits.

and the worse part is it really hurts trying to make myself fit/seeing people try to make me fit.

because deep inside, we all know it's not possible.

because deep inside, there's always this little nagging voice that says you're not good enough.

y'know when they say things change? they're lying.

things don't change. circumstance does.

the way things happen don't change. the people who do it; they way that they do it change.

and reactions don't change. don't learn that the hard way.

don't regret things after they happen.

i'm sorry.

i guess things would have been better if i wasn't there.

i guess sometimes, i have to acknowledge that i'm not that visible.

i guess i'm getting my prayer answered: to get closer to God. but i didn't expect to get it through broken heartedness.

skimmed through the rest of the day through lenses.

i should have paid more attention.

i should have taken the initiative.

i should have just left.

alice shouldn't have came.

-----

after school was... bearable?

had lunch with wuyue, discussed some stuff with haihua.

and then my skirt got caught by ms lee/li.

like fuck. it's my worst day ever in school, and my skirt got caught for being 2cm too short.

was i supposed to expect it? i guess so, given the day's karma.

so yeah. i got booked for the first time in my three years in dunman.

and ms lee went down into the trenches of teachers who i think are unreasonable.

i mean, other people actually get a chance before they get booked.

and wala! first time i meet her in 2 years, i had to get booked.

fucker.

then finished up Benny cards with juniors.

got a phone call from haihua saying that i was year 1 parade commander.

like woah. 5 minutes before i left school my role changed from photographer to commander.

and i couldn't stay to practice.

and i really don't want to screw things up tomorrow.

i've screwed up enough today.

took the mrt with wuyue.

didn't talk much.

didn't feel cheerful enough for idle chat.

doesn't it feel like life's too short to waste it on such stuff?

that sometimes we should just let go of more things and go a little crazy?

that sometimes, that all we need to do.

i guess i learned the connotation of macro in photography terms.

it's being part of the big picture, but never really clear.

it's being there, and being not there at the same time.

it's thinking you mean something, but you actually don't.

And thank you for lying to me,
Your friendship and good times we had you can have them back.

Labels: /:, emo, epiphany, family, feelings, friends, God, happy, notes, pissed, prayers, rants, school, supernova, thoughts, tired, wants

written on
6:18 PM

Saturday, July 18, 2009

avada kedavra

alrighty. promised post coming up.

HARRY POTTER DAY :D

stayed back with wuyue for her centrestage until 4.30?

died of laughter in the jamming room.

wuyue: EH how come the keyboard no sound one?

me: it's not plugged into the socket.

wuyue: KEYBOARD NEED ELECTRICITY ONE AH?

haha.

then chionged to orchard to meet my sis for dinner.

shared pepper lunch, then went to lido to buy popcorn and stuff.

got some cadbury thingo cos apparently xiamei's tickets were from cadbury.

then we went in and slacked in our AWESOME seats (:

haha. waited for like forever before the movie started.

shall not spoil it here, but i think it was an awesome movie :D

even though draco doesn't look that nice anymore):

very heartbreaking movie.

i'll watch it again.

after HP walked around borders before going home.

and yesterday was just plain boring.

other than making IC and macbeth plot quiz.

which wasn't that bad.

-----

deja vu's just this really scary thing.

it's like having images of things you've never experienced in your head,

and experiencing it later.

like woah.

if i said i saw the hocrux scene in my head while reading the book, and freaked out when i watched the movie, will you believe me?

Labels: /:, family, friends, happy, notes, random, thoughts, wants

written on
12:41 PM

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Edward to Draco?

HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE!

thanks xiamei loads for the tickets on 16th :D

watching with my sis :D

and i think it's private screening or sth haha.

6.40pm at lido 1, can't book tickets one haha.

i'm excited :D

Labels: family, feelings, happy, wants

written on
9:37 PM

Monday, July 13, 2009

princess? nah wait till you're married. (cinderella)

i want a canopy bed ):

no platform bed, no canopy bed, no pretty bed frame.

mama's excuse: "get them when you're married."

-.-

i could hate her for that.

but i'm just feeling pretty sad ):

Labels: /:, family, feelings, notes, rants, tired, wants

written on
10:16 PM

Sunday, July 12, 2009

So give me a dose of courage, and get me a shot of adventure.

so, ice age 3 with amanda, kellie and pearl yesteday,

then fleatique with kellie and deborah :D

as bugis junction says "i (heart) retail therapy"

haha(:

cleaned my room today.

it looks nice and bright now.

and i lovelovelove my heart locket.

wore it the whole of today.

haha. it's special :D

but i haven't thought of anything to put inside yet.

church tmr.

i hope service doesn't make me fall asleep X:

and L!ME with deborah & theo tmr?

Labels: church, family, feelings, God, happy, notes, tired, wants

written on
12:00 AM

Monday, July 6, 2009

Late(r)

migraine prediction was correct.

panadols didn't work, and i think i might die of overdosage.

i'm trying out my sister's way of sticking the muscle ache sticker thing on the head.

no effect so far, 'cept that it burns so much that i don't feel the headache.

and there's this really bitter taste in my mouth that i can't get rid of.

is this some after-effect or something?

gah. i just want to runaway and hide in a hole or something.

it feels like there's the white rabbit repeating "i'm late, i'm late" in my head.

it's 10.35pm. not late in usual context, but i'm feeling rather sick.

there's this chinese assignment that i really have to work on 'cos it was due last friday. that's late.

there's idmi meeting tomorrow, and i have to rush some thing out. (late)

i feel like just falling asleep and not waking up; who cares if i'm late?

late; late; late.

i feel like i'm supposed to do something now, but i don't know what.

it's not something on my mental checklist.

it's like God calling me to do something, but i'm disobeying Him for human wants.

and i know i'm supposed to do something about it because i know it's not right, but i just want to rebel.

i don't like being diabolical.

i need some time on my own.

(it's the after-effects of acting)

Labels: church, emo, epiphany, family, feelings, friends, God, notes, prayers, school, sick, thoughts, tired, wants

written on
10:31 PM

i want to die.

i'm damn tired. lol.

had fun today?

haha. was pretty restricted by my kiddy parade.

lol. ah well.

i missed 6a a lot /:

transformers was great.

loved it. haha.

shia!

okay. i feel a migraine coming up.

bye.

Labels: family, feelings, friends, happy, random, sick, tired

written on
9:09 PM

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

how to change colours.

HI THIS IS RED.

DO YOU SEE RED?

i CAN MAKE GREEN TOO!

WHAT ABOUT BLUE?

OOO IT RHYMES 8D

ORANGE!

HM. WHAT RHYMES WITH ORANGE?

OH RIGHT. NOTHING!

retarded post for my retarded sister 8D

Labels: family, random

written on
10:31 PM

Monday, June 15, 2009

(holi)DAYS.

My june hols rocks.

I have 5 days free, including today.

to finish my homework and rest.

oh. I forgot I have to clean my room before 23.

Happy day.

my mum's gonna strip me of my internet rights and books when she comes back.

fuck idmi.

Labels: family, feelings, notes, random, rants, thoughts

written on
5:53 PM

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

check yes juliet, are you with me?

run baby run, don't ever look back.

they'll tear us apart, if you give them the chance.

yeah. that's me running away from my fears;

me trying desperately to cling on to what I have left;

so that in the end, I still have a shard of who I was.

I learnt quite a lot from IDMI today.

not the parts where I had to act, but rather those that I didn't have to care about.

because then, I didn't have to think through what I was supposed to do.

ah. I don't know what I'm rambling about now.

I think I'll miss IDMI when it's over ):

-----

I haven't eaten dinner yet.

I miss my mama's cooking ):

ate mcs twice today.

I think I can't stand another round of it.

lol.

I'm rushing out some stuff now.

blog later (:

Labels: emo, epiphany, family, feelings, happy, homework, random, rants, thoughts, tired

written on
8:45 PM

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

&that butterfly moment (crushed like a paperball)

I really counted on spending Fathers' Day with my dad.

It's just been so long since I saw him.

It was like a second chance when I heard that I could go to vietnam with my aunt.

A second chance to finish that card I couldn't complete before my family flew;

a second chance to finally do what I never dared to.

And now, that could all go in that blink of a moment.

Because we are, afterall, poor people.

And I can't take the plane alone, as much as I'd like to.

I really don't want to spend Fathers' Day alone.

Labels: emo, family, feelings, notes, rants, thoughts, wants

written on
10:39 PM